Barbara came by the office Wednesday. That she came in bearing baked goods is nothing extraordinary. My friend has been visiting and dropping off desserts (and contributing to my expanding waistline) for years. She is to baking what Michelangelo is to painting; what Messi is to futbol. What Beyoncé is to everything.
That she dropped in on International Women’s Day, while in all likelihood a convenient coincidence, was significant in that it was a reminder that while women have forged and forced tremendous gains in political, social and economic arenas, their campaign for equality continues. Fortunately men and women have people like Barbara to use as guides along the way.
Our talks seldom center too long on politics. It might be because we agree on a variety of issues and there is not much to debate.
To my knowledge Barbara is not a traditional community activist. You won’t find her name on any list of board of directors for community groups or catch her organizing get-out-the-vote campaigns for a preferred candidate. But she will, when the opportunity presents itself, pay a visit to City Hall when an issue might adversely affect her contemporaries or another group on the brink of marginalization. While she did serve for a time as an advocate for the neighbors in the community in which she lives, Barbara gave that up to work more behind the scenes —and for saner hours because at times it felt as though she was on call 24 hours a day.
While her everyday life may not appear remarkable to anyone from the outside, or her for that matter, what makes Barbara, and people like her, admirable is her independence and generosity.
On the occasions when we are making our way back to her apartment — Barbara pushing the walker she begrudgingly adopted recently so that she might avoid another fall — and the conversation turns to her young adult granddaughter’s accomplishments and future opportunities, pride and enthusiasm pouring out of her voice, I wonder but don’t ask if she considers herself a role model. (I have a feeling I already know Barbara’s modest answer.)
Her life has been filled with the ups and downs many of us experience. She has had her triumphs and her share of setbacks. As each passing year gives her a little more experience and her body absorbs a little more wear and tear, she nevertheless fiercely clings to her independence. The walker has not stopped her from travelling a few blocks to our office and, while troubled vision makes it a little harder for her to measure out the ingredients to the goodies she bakes, it doesn’t stop her from getting up early to make them for friends.
In the simplest act of perseverance and generosity Barbara exhibits strength. Not a bad role model to have, male or female.
