Over the years it has become increasingly difficult to find movies that scare me. Chainsaw massacres and cabin slasher films don’t give me the goosebumps and willies anymore. So I’m working on a few scary movie scripts of my own:
“Buzzkill”: A late 20-something wakes up one morning to discover that the pounding in his head has a direct correlation to the number of tequila shots he downed the night before. Unable to bounce back the way he used to — bloody Marys and beers for breakfast — he contemplates the onset of “old” as he wishes for death from the couch.
“Meet the Mom”: A 31-year-old single woman, Dolores, moves back in with her 65-year-old mother after losing her job at a newspaper. She is horrified to discover the matriarch she once worshipped for her sophisticated style now leaves the house in sweats, stained T-shirts, “comfortable sandals” and no makeup because she is “too old to care what other people think.”
“Meet the Mom—Reflection”: Ten years later Dolores has settled into marriage. But her life is far from ideal as she watches her mom flirt with the onset of dementia. As time passes Dolores finds herself dressing comfortably because she, too, is “too old to care what other people think,” as she grapples with the idea that mom may soon need full time care.
“Invisible Man”: Darius was a ladies man from grade school to university and even in the early part of his legal career. But one morning he wakes up to discover the young girls he once chased now want nothing to do with him. Things are only made worse when the office intern remarks that Darius is super cute because he reminds her of her father in a dorky sort of way.
“Panic”: Up late attending to sick children, a young couple realizes the kids they once prayed for will be their responsibility for the rest of their lives. The Rest of Their Lives!
“Quickie Fries”: A retired working class couple realize they must go back to work after a series of medical emergencies has bankrupted them. They find part-time jobs in a fast food restaurant and convenience store but even the money they earn is not enough to cover their living expenses for the next 20 years.
“Cloudy All Day”: The country’s economic and social fabric collapse after a 12-year-old Swedish girl hacks into “the cloud” and deletes every piece of identifying information ever put online. Forced to interact in person rather than text, Skype and email, people soon turn on each other because decades of virtual mingling have deleted all social skills and tolerance.
“I, Doctor”: A man wakes up with the sniffles. An Internet search of his symptoms reveals he has contracted every fatal disease known to man. He even has a few illnesses that don’t have a name. Despite his wife’s mean and dismissive assurances to the contrary, our hero knows death is imminent. He vows to haunt her from the grave. Then she’ll be sorry.
