I’m still working out the details but I have a rough outline for my Christmas story, turned soon-to-be-a-streaming series.
Seated on a golden shelf opposite a floor-to-ceiling window overlooking a swanky neighborhood that he has privatized via special assessment taxes, E.L. takes a moment to reflect on all that he has accomplished: near world domination.
Hopping down from his perch — at 2-foot-3 he’s much taller than the 10 or so inches the fake news media portrays him to be — he makes his way to a mirror and likes what he sees: blue eyes, brown hair, impish grin. He falls in love with himself every day all over again.
Removing his red velvet jacket E.L. lets it fall to the floor and unbuttons his red dress shirt. Tattooed across his chest is his personal mantra. The three words that helped him build his empire and made him who he is: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
It wasn’t long ago he managed to convince millions of people worldwide to welcome his likeness into their homes.
The gimmick was that the dolly version of him would keep watch on kids at Christmas time and report back to Santa who was naughty and nice. Parents would move him from room to room to perpetuate the illusion that he was real and every night he left for the North Pole he would come back to a different place.
The reality was that the dolls had been rigged with hidden cameras and microphones and the movement from room to room gave him a good idea of what kind of people he was watching for “Santa.”
He could tell by the conversations mom and dad had if their political leanings were left or right or off the planet wacko. He could see who had enough in the refrigerator to feed an entire army and who barley had enough to feed their kids for the week.
He learned the parents’ and children’s likes and dislikes. Their habits. Their routines and patterns.
He got families to happily welcome him into their homes so he could observe and take notes and bring toys to the good boys and girls.
Oh, and he could also sell that information to marketers and political consultants and government agencies.
He could walk into the office of an online shopping company’s chairman and convince him that he could make a killing selling doorbells that monitor customers’ neighborhoods, identifying potential consumers and their spending habits.
He could convince executives at social media platforms which households were susceptible to which kind of advertising that would encourage them to support the kind of person who in turn would enact favorable legislation and tax breaks.
E.L. could tell hackers which homes were Apples and which ones were Droids so that hacking could be streamlined.
All of this information came to him over the years and with it he could do what he wanted — selling it to the highest bidder.
Life is good if you’re a little guy, especially if you’re perched high up on a shelf looking down on everyone else. Knowledge IS power.
