There are an estimated 3-plus million young adults across the country graduating from high school this year.
In addition to the watches, balloons, clothes, jewelry, trinkets, cash and cards doled out, there also will be a corresponding amount of unsolicited advice — words of wisdom so warm they could launch a fleet of hot air balloons. Add mine to that pyre: Don’t be jerk.
A jerk is someone who takes up two parking spaces. He is the sort of driver who pulls into a stall at a busy shopping center or parking garage and leaves enough of his vehicle hanging into the next space as to render it unusable except by a mini clown car. A subcategory here is the driver who pulls into a tight space and parks so close that their passenger side makes it impossible for you to get in through the driver’s side door. I’ve found that this usually happens a) when it is cold and raining or b) when I’m late for a meeting or in a rush to get home.
The motorists who choose to blatantly park in two spaces —straddling the dividing line between space A and space B — so that their new high end vehicle is not tainted by the emissions of a 15-year-old Nissan are in a class of their own. The A-Class. Obviously, you don’t want to be an A-Class in life.
A jerk is someone who doesn’t — even half-heartedly — acknowledge the magnanimous gesture of letting them merge into a busy traffic flow or cut in front of you in a line that is not moving. It doesn’t take much for a simple wrist-flicking wave in the rear window or a thumbs up outside the window to demonstrate an appropriate amount of civility and gratitude. Like you, everyone is in a hurry and needs to be somewhere else fast. Letting you in front of them puts your needs on par or ahead of their own. At least pretend to be grateful.
A jerk is someone who doesn’t say thank you when you hold a door open for them. Convenience stores, coffee houses and restaurants do not come with doormen. It is no one’s job or obligation to hold a moderately weighted door open for stragglers or people who are in no particular hurry. Frankly, in this dog eat dog world we live in now we’re not obliged to hold doors open for seniors, the disabled or kids. Show appreciation to those who got to where you are going first but took time to let you pass.
A jerk rides his bike slowly down the middle of a road in which there is no bike lane and forces a motorist to drive perilously close to oncoming traffic because the cyclist is not travelling at the posted speed limit or won’t cruise on the side of the street — and then blows through a stop sign or traffic signal without even pretending to stop.
A jerk offers unsolicited advice. And doesn’t know when to shut up. Or does, and won’t.
Don’t be a jerk.
