It may be time to round up all the Latinos in the United States and deport them.
Regardless of their legal status or stature in society—I’m looking at you Justice Sonia Sotomayor and Sen. Marco Rubio—it’s clear to anyone with only half a brain that Hispanics, Latinos, Mexicans or whatever we want to call brown people that hail in some way from North, Central or South America pose a threat to the safety of this country’s law-abiding citizens.
Remember the carefree days less than a decade ago: when narco-wars in Mexico were raging as close as Tijuana and our biggest concern was that the terror of drug-related kidnappings, beheadings, and acid baths would bleed across the border and into the comfort of our insulated lives?
Do you recall the waves of relief in 2014 after members of “Los Palillos” were convicted in San Diego and sentenced to life in prison without parole for their roles in nine murders?
Do you think now those troubles are over? That all of this country’s ills, including the new ones like sex trafficking, will cease to exist now that there a couple of bad guys behind bars?
Nope. Guess again. As long as there are Latinos running around unchecked and unmonitored this country won’t be safe from random acts of violence.
While we’re monitoring people for our collective safety, we should go ahead and catch and release back to their Euro origins white people. And Christians.
In late 2015 Robert Lewis Dear held Colorado police at bay from inside a Planned Parenthood clinic, allegedly killing three people—including a cop.
Dear reportedly told authorities, “No more baby parts,” a sentiment that falls in line with Christian beliefs opposing Planned Parenthood and or abortions.
Of course Christians aren’t the only scary white people among us. Recall James Holmes, the young man who shot up an Aurora, Colorado theater killing 12 people. His midnight massacre was not in the name of a religious cause but it was no less terrorizing.
So, to be safe, let’s round up the white people too. Whites and browns, you got to go. And blacks and Asians we’ll be watching you, too.
If this sort of reasoning seems far-fetched and dopey; ludicrous, ignorant, over-simplified, dim- witted, overly imaginative, ridiculous, silly, paranoid or even a little bit crazy I’d offer that it’s the same sort of thinking that underscores the belief that all or most Muslims in this country are a threat to our safety.
It’s the same kind of thinking that has propelled a self-proclaimed billionaire to the GOP presidential nomination and the sort of reasoning that some of our friends, neighbors, and colleagues exercise. How’s that for holiday barbecue small talk this weekend?
Happy Birthday, America! Evidently we are all a threat to each other. And crazy.
