It’s later than you think

This may be my last column. After almost seven years of filling this space with letters and words, it’s not quite the end I envisioned, but hey, what are you going to do?

If the billboards around the county proclaiming May 21, tomorrow, as Judgment Day are true then the pressure is on to make this a memorable work of journalism.

I got nothing.

Harold Camping, a preacher and the owner of Family Radio, has been warning people for months, maybe even years, that Christ’s second coming is scheduled for this weekend.

Sure, a while ago Camping said the same thing about the End Days arriving in 1994. But this time, after further studying and deciphering of the Bible, Camping really, really means it. Christ is coming and he’ll be preceded by a devastating worldwide earthquake.

Talk about making an entrance.

Given I only have a few days left to live, naturally I’ve been reflecting on my time on Earth.

In some ways I’m like Sinatra in that I have a few regrets. But mine are worth mentioning.

I wish I had spent more time finding a good defense lawyer.

If I’m going to be judged by some omnipotent creator, I could use a little more help defending my life.

Quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve made as much of it as I might have. The reasons might be many but ultimately it was my decision to listen to that little voice that planted the seeds of doubt and insecurity. I should have tuned that voice out.

I regret not telling more people to – how can I put this? -funk off.

I regret being the kind of person who, unlike say, the Dali Lama, wants to tell someone to funk off rather than working harder to find common ground or find something likeable about them.

I regret the bad days.

I regret that time as a kid I didn’t stand up for a classmate who was being bullied.

I regret that I have not done more to make adult bullies change their ways.

I regret aging because man, eating a plate full of carne asada fries without any sort of indigestion seems glorious.

I regret the occasions I didn’t give 100 percent.

I regret not knowing for sure if I have done enough to let my family and friends know I love them.

Funny, looking back I don’t seem to have any regrets about not being a bazillionaire or a Hollywood heartthrob.

In fact, my biggest regret is not having a little more time to change the regrets I have.

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